Respite Provider Interview Questions — Free Editable Template

Hiring a respite provider is one of the hardest things you will do as a special needs parent. You are not filling a shift. You are letting a stranger into your home to care for the person you love most, often during the hours you are most exhausted. The fear is real, and it is rational.

This free editable template is built to make that decision less scary by making it more structured. It gives you more than twenty interview questions, scenario-based probes, a reference check script, and a clear document verification checklist. Use it for a respite provider you find through a vendor, a family member you are converting to a paid caregiver through IHSS, or anyone else who will be alone with your child.

Why We Made This

California parents keep telling us the same thing about their first respite hire: the interview felt awkward, they did not know what to ask, and they ended up choosing based on vibes. Sometimes that worked. Often it did not, and they discovered at hour two of a four-hour shift that the provider had never changed a diaper, never seen a seizure, or did not know how to operate the feeding pump.

You can ask better questions than that. You should. And a written template, used the same way with every candidate, is the difference between "nice person" and "actually the right person for my child." It also protects you later. If something goes wrong, you have a record of what you asked and what they answered.

What's Inside the Template

• Warm-up and experience questions — how they got into caregiving, how long they have worked with children with disabilities, and what diagnoses they have supported.
• Core skills questions — specific tasks like diapering older children, lifting and transfers, feeding (including G-tubes), medication administration, and behavior support.
• Scenario probes — "What would you do if…" situations covering seizures, elopement, meltdowns, choking, a sibling getting hurt, and a parent running late.
• Communication and boundaries questions — screen time rules, food rules, discipline philosophy, and how they handle disagreement with a parent's instructions.
• Availability and logistics — schedule, backup plans, transportation, comfort with pets, smoking, and their own family situation.
• Reference check script — three questions to ask at least two prior families, including the one nobody asks: "Would you hire them again?"
• Document verification checklist — DOJ LiveScan background check, TB clearance, current CPR and first aid certification, driver's license and auto insurance (if driving your child), and any vendor or agency credentials.
• Trial visit evaluation — a one-page rubric to fill out after a paid two-to-three-hour trial shift, covering how your child responded, how the provider handled transitions, and how the home looked when you returned.

How to Use It

Download the DOCX and print one copy for each candidate you interview. Do the interviews the same way, in the same order, and take real notes. This is not a vibes-based process. If a candidate is a strong "maybe," move them to a paid trial visit before you commit to a regular schedule.

For California families, the document verification checklist is the part most people skip, and it is the part that matters most. Request the DOJ LiveScan fingerprint clearance (not just a "background check" the provider says they passed). Verify TB clearance from the last year. Verify that CPR and first aid certification are current and from a hands-on provider, not an online-only course. If the provider will drive your child, verify the license and insurance yourself.

If you are hiring through a regional center vendor, some of this is already done. Ask the vendor for copies anyway. If you are hiring a family member through the In-Home Supportive Services program, the county will handle enrollment and LiveScan, but you still do the interview and the trial. Our IHSS guide walks through the paperwork side.

Tips From California Parents

Pay for the trial shift. A two-to-three-hour paid trial tells you more than three interviews. You get to watch the provider with your child, in your home, doing the actual work. Pay a fair rate even if you decide not to hire them. This is not free labor.

Ask the scenario questions, even if they feel harsh. "What would you do if my child had a seizure and stopped breathing?" is not a rude question. It is the question. A good provider will answer calmly and describe a reasonable plan. A provider who freezes, jokes, or says "I'd figure it out" is telling you something real.

Check references yourself. Do not let the provider give you a written letter and call it done. Call the prior family. Ask them three things: what did the provider do well, what did you wish they did differently, and would you hire them again. The third question is the one that gets honest answers.

Trust your child's reaction. At the trial visit, watch how your child responds to the provider. Children with disabilities, including nonspeaking children, communicate preference clearly if you are paying attention. If your child is distressed in a way that is not just "new person" wariness, that matters.

Get the paperwork right on day one. A written agreement that lays out hours, pay rate, tasks, house rules, and how either of you can end the arrangement prevents most of the conflicts we see. The template does not include a contract, but it flags the points you will want one to cover.

Do not hire out of desperation. The hardest respite hires happen when you are running on no sleep and willing to say yes to anyone. If you are in that place, ask the regional center about emergency respite, contact your Family Resource Center, or use a short-term agency shift while you take the time to hire carefully. Our guide to free respite care in California has short-term options.

Revisit the fit every few months. A provider who was great when your child was five may not be the right person at nine. You are allowed to re-interview, shift hours, or end the arrangement. This is employment, not adoption.

Related Guides

If you have not set up respite yet, start with our overview of free respite care for California special needs parents, which covers regional center respite, vendor options, and Family Resource Center programs. If you are hiring a family member, the IHSS guide explains how to get paid for that care through the state. And for the broader picture of services your regional center can fund, see HCBS waivers in California.